A few years ago I shot the biggest buck I've ever seen on the hoof. I'm talking world class, legit 190s-200s. I made what I felt was a great shot and even heard him crash. When I went to look at the arrow I was elated to see bright foamy blood everywhere. So I followed it to where he crashed ..... then kept following it nearly another mile. I called several dog trackers and nobody answered.
I gathered up about 10 friends and family and grid searched the area. I even offered a $1500 cash reward to anybody who could find him for me. Nothing. 3 days later I bumped him up while searching and he let out a groan then slowly but steadily walked out of my life forever. Nobody ever brought me a rack for reward and I never heard of anybody killing a big deer like that in the area. He'd have attracted attention if he was tagged.
To say I was plumb sick is no lie. I was sick for a year. Worse yet, it was a buck my brother had been hunting and invited me one evening. I only hunted him once and got a shot, then ruined it. I felt bad for the deer and for my brother. I really contemplated never bow hunting again. But as they say, the only way to get over falling off the horse is to climb back up on the saddle.
So you're not alone. It happens to most if not all of us. I know that doesn't give you any comfort, but maybe just knowing that others understand your anguish does. Hang in there.