Found this in one of my files.
Outdoors with John L> Sloan Copyright John L. Sloan
June 27,2002
The Simple Rules of Archery Golf.
We were sitting in a small restaurant in Russell Manitoba, waiting for a waitress...make that wait person. I had in mind an order of poutaine,(that�s french fries with onions cheese and brown gravy-better than it sounds), and a coffee. Not a cup of coffee. Remember, this is Canada; here it is called a coffee. Finally came our wait person, a member of some Indian band. I asked politely for a coffee, no cream. �Sorry, got no cream.� Came the reply. Very well, just make it a coffee with no milk then. You have to understand how to get along in foreign countries.
Bob Shebaylo, when he isn�t playing hockey runs a good part of the Champion Bow Company. He has a hunting camp near Russell. That is where we play golf when we are not hunting deer or shooting prairie dogs. Since there is no golf course at the hunting camp, we play it a little differently.
To start with there are only two rules: You play the course as you find it and you shoot the ball where it lies. No, I did not get that wrong. You do not hit the ball or play the ball, you shoot it. Excuse me a moment. The wait person has just brought my tea and asked if I wanted lemon with it. Feeling it would be useless to mention I had ordered coffee, I affirmed that I would indeed like lemon. �Sorry, we don�t have any lemon but I can get you some cream.� I declined and will now resume my story.
Down the street from the eatery is a coin laundry. It accepts only Canadian coins so I usually have to spend a few hours trading real money for loonies and caribous. Once the machines start turning dirty clothes into clean ones, you are faced with considerable time on your hands. That explains why Bob and I decided to play archery golf.
The game started with Bob throwing a very used golf ball out the door and into the street. The ball caromed off a passing truck and rolled some distance before coming to rest against the tire of cattle truck. �Your shot.� He said.
The object here is to shoot an arrow and hit the ball. You keep shooting until you hit it. Lowest number of shots wins that �hole�. The ball, resting against the tire was about 50 yards away. Since there are only two rules, neither of which dictates how long you have before you shoot, I suggested we go get some poutaine and a coffee. Bob was going to protest until I pointed to the nonexistent rule book.
So now our wait person brings my eggs and Canadian bacon and asks if I want any ketchup. Since I can see a bottle sitting on the table directly in front of me, I decline. Bob allows he never eats ketchup on his poutaine...which he actually gets. I decide not mention that I too ordered that dish and the wait person takes the ketchup and puts it on an empty table near the door.
After my third attempt the yolk on my egg finally breaks and scatters pieces all over the table. The wait person says something in a native tongue and a cattle truck rumbles by, followed by a sharp crack on the door. The wait person opens the door, stoops and retrieves a golf ball resting nearby.
The wait person returns to his/her station and holding the golf ball in one hand, brings it directly in front of his/her face to better examine it. Bob and I look at each other and say simultaneously, �Shoot the ball where it lies.�
I was slightly reminded of James Aflame, the fire eater. But that is another story.
Outdoors with John L> Sloan Copyright John L. Sloan
June 27,2002
The Simple Rules of Archery Golf.
We were sitting in a small restaurant in Russell Manitoba, waiting for a waitress...make that wait person. I had in mind an order of poutaine,(that�s french fries with onions cheese and brown gravy-better than it sounds), and a coffee. Not a cup of coffee. Remember, this is Canada; here it is called a coffee. Finally came our wait person, a member of some Indian band. I asked politely for a coffee, no cream. �Sorry, got no cream.� Came the reply. Very well, just make it a coffee with no milk then. You have to understand how to get along in foreign countries.
Bob Shebaylo, when he isn�t playing hockey runs a good part of the Champion Bow Company. He has a hunting camp near Russell. That is where we play golf when we are not hunting deer or shooting prairie dogs. Since there is no golf course at the hunting camp, we play it a little differently.
To start with there are only two rules: You play the course as you find it and you shoot the ball where it lies. No, I did not get that wrong. You do not hit the ball or play the ball, you shoot it. Excuse me a moment. The wait person has just brought my tea and asked if I wanted lemon with it. Feeling it would be useless to mention I had ordered coffee, I affirmed that I would indeed like lemon. �Sorry, we don�t have any lemon but I can get you some cream.� I declined and will now resume my story.
Down the street from the eatery is a coin laundry. It accepts only Canadian coins so I usually have to spend a few hours trading real money for loonies and caribous. Once the machines start turning dirty clothes into clean ones, you are faced with considerable time on your hands. That explains why Bob and I decided to play archery golf.
The game started with Bob throwing a very used golf ball out the door and into the street. The ball caromed off a passing truck and rolled some distance before coming to rest against the tire of cattle truck. �Your shot.� He said.
The object here is to shoot an arrow and hit the ball. You keep shooting until you hit it. Lowest number of shots wins that �hole�. The ball, resting against the tire was about 50 yards away. Since there are only two rules, neither of which dictates how long you have before you shoot, I suggested we go get some poutaine and a coffee. Bob was going to protest until I pointed to the nonexistent rule book.
So now our wait person brings my eggs and Canadian bacon and asks if I want any ketchup. Since I can see a bottle sitting on the table directly in front of me, I decline. Bob allows he never eats ketchup on his poutaine...which he actually gets. I decide not mention that I too ordered that dish and the wait person takes the ketchup and puts it on an empty table near the door.
After my third attempt the yolk on my egg finally breaks and scatters pieces all over the table. The wait person says something in a native tongue and a cattle truck rumbles by, followed by a sharp crack on the door. The wait person opens the door, stoops and retrieves a golf ball resting nearby.
The wait person returns to his/her station and holding the golf ball in one hand, brings it directly in front of his/her face to better examine it. Bob and I look at each other and say simultaneously, �Shoot the ball where it lies.�
I was slightly reminded of James Aflame, the fire eater. But that is another story.
