Thanks for the tip Spur... got some on order for the future....
Well, $500 later to an outboard mechanic and one problem traded for another. He was able to get the nut loose, extract the L arms going into the tilt tube. Said he polished everything, greased everything, then got them reinstalled. Nut still grinding into the motor mount, so he drilled a new hole in the bar connecting to the motor and moved the nut back a little and replaced with a slightly shorter bolt. Works perfectly... unless you tilt the motor most of the way up... the L support arms don't rotate at all when the motor is trimmed all the way up, so now the housing where the throttle and shifter cables attach to the motor now grind into the connector bar to the hydraulic steering. It's certainly functional, as there is no way the motor would be under power requiring steering when the motor is tilted 3/4 of the way up... but it isn't fixed right IMO as the support arms should also rotate during tilt to maintain geometric angles between the hydraulic piston, the support bars, and the bracket connecting to the motor....
And yes, I said $500.
So for all of you thinking I'm crazy trying myself to do most of this stuff by watching youtube, that's why.
Normal operating position... perfect